To the Tune of the "Spider-Man" Theme

I am working on an autobiographical song. So far, it goes like this:

"Harvey-Man, Harvey-Man,
Does whatever a rabbit can.
Sleeps all day
Begs for food
Pick him up
He'll piss on you.
Look out - here comes Harvey, Man!

Is he tough? Listen fool,
Harvey eats
His own stool ..."

I'm so proud.

Just What the Doctor Ordered

I don't know why humans don't do more than just complain about the quality of their health care. The last time I was dissatisfied with my veterinarian, I peed on him. True story. You should try it.

Hat Trick

I have a very sensitive nose, so trust me on this: Wearing a baseball cap is no substitute for not taking a shower in the morning. Thank you.

Couldn't Happen to a Nicer ...

I know this sounds mean, but I am going to say it anyway. Something about the words "flesh-eating bacteria" and "cat" in the same sentence brings a smile to my face.

Make That a BIG Stick

I believe the carrot-and-stick approach is the best route to getting something accomplished.While I eat my carrot, I hit you with a stick until you do what I want.

That's Not Chocolate

Some rabbits, when they are angry, thump. A few grunt. Not me. I sneak into your kitchen cabinets at night and poop in your box of Cocoa Puffs.

On second thought

It just occurred to me that if I wanted more followers, I should have called my blog Droppings From Bieber.